I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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