the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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