I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
