you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
