So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
