Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
