I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
