There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
