I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
