addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Terrible idea I love it
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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