3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
