Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
is wine microwaveable?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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