oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
