PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
