Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Randomize
