Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Your cock deserves a montage
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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