I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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