I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
