If i come over, it means nothing
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
