I will die if light touches me.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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