Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
