I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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