It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
