I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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