I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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