Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
