Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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