We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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