So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
