he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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