ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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