$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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