Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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