$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
