Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
