I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
