was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
