He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
