What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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