Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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