I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
