Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
