I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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