I feel like abortions should bother me more
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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