I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
