i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize