just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
