hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
