Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
