We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize