Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
