Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
The power of my boobs compel you
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
