I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
