I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
