No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
