It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
How's work?
Spinning.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
