can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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