u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
