who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Randomize
